Upgrading mode

We now live with tools that can resist a generation or more. Yet, we run for upgrading as squirrels for nuts, in the  Fall.

Just a few years ago I had a four-hour hand-written exam. Now the other day I could just fly to New York with a very late notice and get a computer-based exam, not having much human supervision, nor any human interaction. I would have been happy to continue to hand-write and I would have probably bought a shiny typing machine the most, just to improve my writing-life. Yet, now I type with the help of a word processor, I draw with a software that is supposed to read my mind and  I have my whole life in a phone and in a vacuum which takes different shapes and names: "internet", "wikis", "twitter", "google".... and some others that I haven't upgraded to yet. I feel the race wave around me for upgrading all that: computers, phones, software, smart tablets, not to talk about the classic TV and car-upgrade.

Imagine you walk calmly in a park while people start running. Most of them, in the same direction. What would you feel then? Would you continue to walk slowly? Would you change your pace? Would you think there's something happening that you don't know of, and they do? Would you start running yourself? Let's say you would continue walking. You'd probably experience frustration, because the normal that you use to know - walking calmly in the park - is not the general normal anymore. You'd then feel tempted to find out why the other people are running and create some valid arguments for that. Then, the idea of following them would cross your mind. You'd experience a mental tension and you'd try to solve it by bringing more rational arguments. They call it solving the cognitive dissonance. Ultimately, you'd most probably think that the other people will think bad of you - they call it peer pressure - and you'd remain alone in the park anyway, if you continue to walk. So you start running.

People are actually racing for change. Change is good because change is natural. Yet, we fight and race for it.

Ironically, the technological upgrade easily transfers into our physical and psychological life. We daily upgrade our calories count; some upgrade their noses; some just upgrade husbands; others, their diplomas and their titles. Some people upgrade their garden crops, while others upgrade their house, their job, the city they live in. Lately, some even upgrade their home country. Very few though I see struggling to upgrade inside. We try to become better, but for a better job. We try to become smarter, for a better diploma. We try to become better-looking, for social recognition. Nothing is inside anymore. Nothing is private. Nobody stops racing and nobody asks why anymore. And if we do, we take the pre-packed answer, which is socially accepted, and which is, by default, good. And continue running. But what if you stop for a few seconds and look around? The perspective would change, along with the upgrading process. If we stop, for just a few seconds, we'd realize that there are no good or bad changes. There are just changes. While some cannot be avoided, for some we can discern. We'd realize that first and foremost....

Change is a mental upgrade.

Still alive and breathing

Yoga physical exercises, master's thesis, projects to plan, projects to complete, craving for a spring cycling marathon, international dinners, presentations held and attended, cooking good, keeping track of what I did and designing what I will do... That's my life lately, spiced up by the good feeling of freedom, by the memories in the South and by the memories I'm building every day, as a Fulbrighter.

A new puzzle piece

E dimineata tare. Atat de tare, incat nu vad prea multe pe geam daca nu-mi pun ochii de pisica. Vorbesc cu Budapesta (aka Irina I.) si sunt intrebata ce am sa fac dupa. Dupa ce termin teza, masterul, jobul, dupa ce termin de calatorit, dupa ce-mi termin conturile cu acest continent. Cum ce? Caut urmatoare piesa din puzzle. Ma indrept, natural, din zona de client service in zona de public service. Si imi place cautarea!

Romania, on its way to US media

A few days ago, on a Midwestern US university website:

Internet access brings Romanians new freedoms (article about a research mission led by Ball State Anthropology Department who took a student team to rural Romania to examine the impact of free Internet access in several small villages):
 
Installing computers with Internet access in Romanian public libraries was designed to support positive social change in this underdeveloped eastern European nation, but it's also spurred online dating, comparison shopping and social networking, says an analysis by Ball State University. (...) "The Internet has the potential to bring most of Romania into the 21st century," Nyce added. "Right now, it is mainly an agrarian society that, for our students, resembles the rural U.S. around 1910. It will be interesting to see how the country transforms in the next decade as information technology and e-commerce becomes more prevalent."

After back and forth emailing with the authors and reasonable arguments, the article changed its tone. However, hasty generalizations and stereotypes will always make the headlines... Where is the true Romanian spirit among these?

Bad bag!

Yes, I am guilty, I know! I haven't written for a while and when I used to do it, I did it in Romanian. I am now changing the gear to English, as an answer to the friends here in the US who wanted to be able to read me - their Romanian improved, but I don't want to push it :)

Now what made me finally write? A bad bag. In Muncie, Indiana.

Before I came here, one of the friends I had in the US told me that small towns are a safe place: "you can leave your bag in a park and find it untouched the next day."  If I would ask my friend today what can happen with my bag if I leave it unattended around here, she'll probably say: "nobody will take it. They'll just blow it up...":


"Traffic at McGalliard Road was stopped around noon for about half an hour after police received a call to inspect a mysterious package at a gas station on the intersection of McGalliard and Oakwood Avenue. McGalliard was blocked from Tillotson to Rosewood avenues, and Oakwood Avenue was blocked from Woodmont to Royale drives. Stg. Bruce Qualles from the Muncie Police Department said the store clerk discovered a brown leather brief case at the station and called the police. The county bomb squad arrived 15 minutes later. The package was detonated at 1:25 p.m. and police proceeded to reopen the road."

Poor person who came back for the bag/brief case two hours later!

Cum e viata de student mai, mai

Wall-Street.ro a publicat acum cateva zile un articol comparativ legat de viata de student: cum e in Romania, in comparatie cu alte tari. O analiza clasica. Si un pic trista. Nu pentru ca in alte tari este mai bine. E foarte bine in mediul universitar. Doar ca studentii romani cred ca e fara indoiala mai bine. Sfatul meu: mai si indoiti-va!

fulbrightpuzzle si adevarul

Mirosul de cozonaci in Adevarul.

Next Academic Year. A New Year.

I did it! I got the Graduate Assistant position within the School of Extended Education. I'll be in charge of marketing and communications for the online and distance academic services offered by Ball State University.

That comes with an answer to the question: will you go/come back in the US next year? Well, YES!

The assistantship offers me the opportunity to have a tuition waiver and a monthly wage, finish my masters, and, most important, work in my field of expertise with a well-rounded supervisor.

Now let the paperwork adventure begin :)

Declaratie de dragoste

Multi fani pe Facebook si declaratii de dragoste pentru Romania... Cat de realist este insa acest joc?

Intotdeauna m-am intrebat care este logica simtamintelor legate de tara. Am crescut in afara poeziilor "despre tara si popor", dar le-am auzit ecourile. Cu toate acestea, n-am avut o reprezentare a sentimentului de patriotism (= dragoste de tara, da!), ori identitate nationala pana cand nu m-am aflat intr-o comunitate de studenti internationali. Acolo am cunoscut si simtit stereotipuri de toate soiurile, care deveneau difuze sau nu, in functie de flexibilitatea grupului. Acolo am simtit pe propriul obraz ca suntem o cultura mica. Acolo m-am simtit mandra cand am auzit primul multumesc stalcit. Acolo am vorbit cu bucurie despre istoria Romaniei, despre mirosul de cozonac din casa bunicii, despre transhumanta, ori despre dragul Brancusi.

Cand sunt in tara insa sentimentul de patriotism se transforma dintr-un personaj romantic intr-unul naturalist: aroma pietelor e naruita de limbajul de taraba, lumina strazilor cu tei e umbrita de namolul de suflete triste, de vaicareala nemaipomenita de care uneori imi este dor cand sunt acolo. Am taiat lista. Era prea lunga.

Cert este ca radacinile nu ni le putem schimba. Sunt in ADN-ul nostru fiziologic si cultural. Si acolo sunt probleme, si acolo sunt buni si rai, veseli si tristi, bogati si saraci. Nu e diferit decat modul in care ne raportam la acolo. Am intalnit multi romani acolo. Pare ca nu sunt acasa niciodata, desi au case impresionante. Pare ca le lipseste intotdeauna ceva. De ce? La sfarsitul fiecarei zile, sunt imigranti. Cand esti aici, asta nu inseamna nimic. Acolo, insa, e un stigmat. Viata acolo pare frumoasa, pare mai usoara, pare mai lina. Dar e cumva ceva care e impotriva firii.

Cred ca m-a napadit optimismul, pentru ca sunt acolo. Dar ce-ar fi sa incercam? Daca vom inceta sa gandim mai mult aici, deca acolo, sunt sigura ca vom schimba o litera, un cuvant, un rand, o pagina, si poate o generatie.

Do you need us to pray for you?

Sunt in biblioteca, in fata unui geam mare, cu soarele patruzandu-mi in tastatura, si cu neoanele aprinse deasupra capului... dar asta este o alta poveste.

Ce ma face sa ma abat de la tastatul riguros pentru scoala este imaginea unor tineri pe care ii vad prin geamul mare - doi caucazieni (nu am voie sa spun albi, pentru ca ma bate la cap corectitudinea politica): camasa alba, cravata, ecuson in piept. Fiecare vorbeste cu un student afro-american. Imaginea asta dureaza insa de cateva zeci de minute bune.

Nu este vorba de o asociatie studenteasca, si nici nu sunt reprezentanti ai universitatii. Au Biblii in mana si intreaba oamenii daca vor sa stea de vorba cu ei. E ciudata diferenta de tinuta intre ei si interlocutori. Un alt student afro-american este invitat la dicutii, cand una dintre camasile albe ramane singura. Nu pot spune ce ma impresioneaza mai mult: diferenta de culoare*, replica: "do you need us to pray for you?" (care mi-a fost adresata de doua ori de cand sunt aici), ori durata nesfarsita a discutiilor...

*a nu se considera o afirmatie rasista, ci doar una pur vizuala. Proiectez oamenii dupa culoarea personalitatii, si nu dupa cea a pielii.

White-haired ladies and Gheorghe Zamfir

It was a beautiful, sunny morning in March. It reminded me of home. A few weeks before I had held a presentation about Romania, organized by the International Programs Office, for American and international faculty and students. A student from India wrote me afterward saying he loved my presentation and invited me to hold the same presentation for an adult day care center in Muncie. He was part of the local Community Center for Vital Aging, and he was interested in organizing cultural events for Muncie community members. I accepted the invitation on the spot. First, out of curiosity - I had never seen an adult day care in the US before. Second, because I felt the urge to share some of the beautiful Romanian sounds. And they loved it! The people in the audience were some nice, white-haired ladies who were having a geography trivia session when I arrived. They were fun, interested and enthusiastic about the Romanian history, tradition and culture. They loved the monasteries' architecture, and especially the sounds of Maria Tanase's traditional music, as well as the pan-pipe ("nai") sounds of Gheorghe Zamfir. They wanted to take photos with me after the presentation, and asked for Romanian traditional dish recipes. I left there with a good feeling. They'll do better in their next international geography trivia session.

Paul Allen Bennett Graduate Scholarship in Public Relations

I was selected to be the Paul A. Bennett Graduate Scholarship recipient this year. The Ball State Department of Journalism awarded me with a $1000 grant for the year 2010-2011. The funny thing is... I don't know if I'll be back next year! My Fulbright grant is for one year, and my Masters Program, for two years. I need to find financial aid or an assistant position which will allow me to self-finance the second year. Otherwise, I'll just remain with the honor of being awarded with the Departmental Scholarship... Not a small thing though.

Romania. Un succes?

Am bifat un nou record in campusul Ball State. He he: numarul cel mai mare de participanti la Intercultural Exchange. Cu... A World Without Romania.

Le-a placut emotia, pasiunea, vitalitatea cu care mi-am prezentat tara de origine. Nu a fost usor sa fac asta. In primul rand, pentru ca noi, ca romani, nu avem experienta mandriei nationale. In al doilea rand, pentru ca a fost dificil sa aleg o pista pe care sa imi bazez prezentare de doar 30 de minute - istorie, georgrafie, arta, societate?

Am hotarat sa dansez o hora sanatoasa (cu ajutor din public) si sa le povestesc despre arta, care a jucat bine rolul de oglinda a istoriei, a geografiei, a socialului romanesc...

Le multumesc, asadar, Mariei Tanase, multumesc lui Dinu Lipatti, lui Gheorghe Zamfir, lui Brancusi, lui Nicolae Grigorescu, lui Eugen Ionescu, Cioran si lui Petre Tutea, ctitorilor de manastiri si tuturor autorilor anonimi din cultura romana. Dar si lui Porumboiu, lui Cristi Puiu, Anei-Maria Marinca, regizorului Andrei Serban, si tuturor celor care merita sa le multumesc, dar poate nu am facut-o...

Scrisoarea lui "cum ar fi daca"

Sunt atat de multe feluri in care as putea sa povestesc cum imi e... As putea sa fac asta printr-un cuvant: unic. Ori printr-un zambet senin. In decembrie am ales sa povestesc printr-o scrisoare.

Sara pe deal si flori de cires

Ce mecanisme ale constientului si subconstientului meu au facut sa ma trezesc astazi auzind in gand pe Tudor Gheorghe cantand "Sara pe deal"? Si ce mi-a determinat primul gand al diminetii: "Cel mai iubit dintre pamanteni"? Si imaginea florilor de cires din curtea bunicii... Si gustul cireselor de mai? Ce ?

Bucuria de a te gandi la acasa...

Am inceput un nou semestru. Sunt la jumatatea drumului, si pare a fi din nou o intersectie. Sunt norocoasa, pentru ca am numeroase optiuni. Una dintre ele este ACASA.

• Vreau sa ma intorc. Sunt realista: stiu si binele si raul din SUA, stiu avantajele si dezavantajele din Romania. Da, vreau sa ma intorc.
• Aud multa tristete din Romania. O fi din cauza vremii, imi zic. Prieteni nemultumiti, prieteni cu planuri de duca, prieteni care invata germana, pentru ca alte tari sunt mai prietenoase cu medicii rezidenti decat tara noastra... Dar da, vreau sa ma intorc.
• Fiecare isi cladeste singur multumirea. Daca zaboveste in a se vaicari. Si totusi... "Vreau sa ma intorc" nu cumva este o lozinca idealista? Cat de mult dureaza entuziasmul in Romania?
• Nu m-am gandit prea mult la Romania cand am plecat, trebuie sa marturiesc. M-am gandit la mine si la cum sa-mi construiesc, piesa cu piesa, viitorul. Aici insa imi iau in serios rolul de "ambasador". A milita pentru o imagine pozitiva a Romaniei (ori a neutraliza-o pe cea negativa) devine un reflex cand esti in afara ei.

Oamenii inteligenti spun ca imaginea de sine proiecteaza imaginea ta in ochii celorlalti. Pentru Romania teoria aceasta pare a se verifica. In doar 4 - 5 luni am auzit destul de multe lucruri rele despre Romania in presa de aici... NPR (National Public Radio) are o preferinta nebuna pentru a arata cat de multa coruptie este in Romania si cat de prost merge totul: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=120290631

Si ma intreb... nu cumva noi, romanii, suntem de vina? Nu cumva ne plangem prea mult? Nu cumva avem o imagine de sine care se reflecta in ceea ce cred si scriu altii despre noi? De ce nu ne concentram pe a ne imbunatati universul in loc sa ne vaicarim? De ce fugim cu totii?

Ce ne salveaza? Avem regizori geniali :) Sper sa fie intelesi cum se cuvine. Sa luam aminte:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=122450013

Da, m-am intors din vacanta...

Fu frumos. Si sunt tare recunoscatoare pentru tot. A fost primul Craciun pe care l-am petrecut sub alt brad decat cel pe care il impodobesc in fiecare an cu parintii, acasa. M-a speriat gandul asta la inceput. Dar n-a fost rau deloc. Dimpotriva!

Familie frumoasa, rasete, iepurasi, copii frumoi si inteligenti, aer curat, aventuri la ski. Longmont, Colorado.

Apoi, aglomeratie, prea mult advertising, fascinatie, arta, prieteni dragi, diversitate. New York.

E 2010... Un an cum va doriti!!!!

-12 grade Celsius. Da, Celsius

Muncie. Ultimele 10 zile din semestrul de toamna. 120 de pagini. De scris. 6 ore. De examene. Si multe carti de citit.

E fun, pentru ca toata nebunia asta imi place. Citesc lucruri care ma intereseaza, am oameni simpatici cu care sa dezbat subiectele care ma framanta, si chiar daca totul e inghetat in jur, mi-e cald. Mi-e bine.

Sarbatoarea Recoltei. Avem sau n-avem?

A World of Thanks... interviu pentru revista online a universitatii

After accessing the link, press Continue, in the right down corner of the map. You'll find a Romanian and a Chinese. And a new city in Romania: Danube Harbor. Also known as Galatzi :) Eroare de editare...

non-Black Friders

S-a dus. Am trait Black Friday online. Si m-am minunat. Urmeaza Electronic Black Monday. Ce nebunie! Imediat dupa cina de Thanksgiving americanii se asaza la usa magazinelor, dupa chilipiruri. Inca de la 3 dimineata. La ora 5am se deschid usile Mall-ului.

Prietenii din India au infaptuit nebunia. Si s-au intors cu o groaza de "chilipiruri". A durat o ora sa ni le arate pe toate. A durat o zi sa le cumpere.

Am refuzat sa cumpar mai mult decat am nevoie, doar pentru ca e mai ieftin. Ce fabrica de nevoi! Am refuzat sa ma trezesc devreme. Asa ca mi-am luat bicicleta la plimbare la pranz, uitand ce zi e, si bucurandu-ma de soarele cu dinti, printre gandurile la examene, la Sf. Andrei si la Sarbatorile Galatiului...

Insa cu toata impotrivirea mea, Vinerea cea Neagra m-a urmarit si m-a lovit, cand nici nu ma asteptam. Cu un stepper functional, aruncat de cineva langa colectorul de gunoi... Probabil au cumparat unul nou, de Black Friday.

Asa ca de azi sunt in forma. Fizica.